fuck

i can't deal with this stuff anymore.

A drift

I feel like i am floating around in nothingness.
Most of the emotions are drained out of me.
They surface once in awhile.
i feel useless.
i want to do something to change this.
i can barely stir up enough effort to think...
i'm just trying to fake my way through life...
pretending to be a person.

Nothing.............

i hate this time of year! i'm so freakN poor and my husband decides to go crazy on ebay.  i work hard and my body hurts so much. It is like i am working for nothing!!! Please help everything to get better...

This is really crappy.

R.I.P.

Boogie died :-(
alone...
at the animal hospital
They didn't even call us.
We had to call them to find out what was going on.

Love you Boogie Babie!

Using my mini doughnut maker, i made pancakes for dinner. They were good.

i miss myself..

i'm so tired.

Work keeps getting worse.

The holidays are here.

i miss my daddy, mommy and my grandmother. i miss my whole family! i miss my old life. i wouldn't trade Harley or Dale for anything.. but still miss it.

My feet hurt constantly.

This really BITES!

The idiots fucked up the roof. It doesn't look like it has new shingles. With out a new roof we won't have insurance and we will be kicked out of here. We don't have any money to even go to a motel since we spent all our money on the roof. What to do......

We might lose the house. ;-/

i am scared.
i might have cancer.
i am going to the doctor today.
i hope they can tell me something.
i hope it is from my thyroid medication just playing with my hormones.
i am very very scared.
We don't have the money to go through this..
My family will be homeless if i die.
We might be homeless anyway with all the stupid stuff going on.
Cancer is one of the things i am most scared of in this world. :-(\
Please god, don't let me have cancer....