I quit

Dale called me a piece of shit again. Harley won't come in to eat. Most of the time he won't do his homework. He usually goes to bed late as well. i give up. On everything.

The Cardigans My Favourite Game

This really sux. Kitchen sink is broken. The floors, doors walls and windows are broken. And everything else is damaged. The World Mark thing was a bust. They so suck there. Dale didn't go for an interview for a driver for a parts company. He might be fired from his one cleaning job. 12 different places are sending us to collections. We don't have enough money to file for bankruptcy. The cleaning, cooking and the upkeep of the house is all up to me and me alone. i dunno what to do. It sux that you work hard, you help people out, your nice and loyal and all you do is get shit on.

i miss them

Not human

It it kinda good no one reads my stuff on here. They probably would think i am insane lol. i will be posting a fictional story i am currently writing about my mother. i miss her a lot. I know i have Harley and Dale, Tonya, Amanda, Brittany and Jordan. I just feel like i am alone most of the time. Every time someone in my family dies more of me dies too. i use to feel a warmth. i dunno how to explain. Just like someone was there with me. And now i just feel alone most of the time. i don't know what happened or what that is all about. i use to know what to do.. And now i feel like a shell. Like i don't really exist. i feel dumb with no answers. I feel like i am just taking up space. Most of the time i can't write or have no desire too. Same with drawing or just being a goofball. Or even watching movies or tv or reading a book. i don't know if that is my thyroid pills or what. i just woke up this way one day. Today is a half good day. i want to feel loved. i want to feel human. i just don't know what to do. Dale are Harley are outside playing with the goats. They have been doing that for a couple of hours. i have been doing basically nothing. Dale is kinda late for work. he will be going soon. Then i won't see him till 11 or later probably. i never get to do anything with him. My sisters do their own things. I havn't seen most of my friends in at least a year. Haven't done anything with them in 2. Everytime me and Har and Dale do anything.. it is usually rushed or something happens to ruin it. i am tired.... i wish i had answers. i wish i could get us out of this financial and well all over mess of our lives. Ya can't do that if your not human tho....

Sinead O'Connor - No Man's Woman