Killswitch Engage - My Last Serenade [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

i don't know what i am going to do. i hope i will think of something

K. So our car had problems. We got it fixed for now. We owe 200 and something more dollars. The dude is really nice and said we can just pay him another 50 for right now. Problem is... besides being poorer than HELL and in debt up to our EYEBALLS.. our water pipe went BREAK. :-) We have no money for plumber, plus we need to pay this nice mechanic guy.... WELL, this morning, the wonderful cleaning lady he works for, called and said that the place he cleans for is going to hire their own cleaning person. SO. for right now, HE IS OUT OF THAT JOB. Granted it was only 8 hours a week... but WE ARE POOR. So he only has his school sweeper job. He usually gets 16 hours from there.. but lately he has been dropping the ball. His check was 10 dollars for ONE MONTH. 
MY JOB. Use to be full time and sometimes overtime. NOW 21 hours a week. YAY.
Really don't know what to do. Dale has way more work options than i do, but he PISSES THEM AWAY.
We tried to pawn stuff at our local pawn shop, BUT THAT IS A JOKE.
SO YA....
Not like anyone reads this, but it feels like i am not alone when i vent on here.

I wish i could travel

i would love to solve mysteries. i would be good at it too.
Like Noah's Ark. With hardly any research at all, i had a feeling it is at the bottom of the Sea of Marmara.
I did alot of research after the fact. i found out that is where alot of people, that have been searching for decades , think it is. It took me ten minutes looking at a map, when it took them decades researching and exploring. AHAHAHA!

FUCKING HUNGRAY

Fuck :-(

Scotty Doesn't Know

i feel so alone and so trapped.
All my friends are basically gone.

One of my best friends is living thursday.
She said she'll visit. 
That is what they all say...

My hubby is going to lose his jobs.
We can't live on my 1,000 a month
We are going to start getting our wages garnished anyway...

House is falling apart. A house we can get kicked out of anytime.

i'm alone all the time......
Tired of pretending i'm ok.
No one cares or understands.

i know i should move.. with what money???
i know i should get out there and make friends... i have so many health problems and no baby sitter...
i know i should find a new job... i have tried. The jobs that want me make it impossible for me to be home for my son. Can't leave a 9 year old home alone.
SO WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO????
i guess just sit here til they take me away to the crazy house....

Fear Factory - Invisible Wounds (Dark Bodies)

Fuck me so i feel it

Hate me
Hate me like you mean it. 
Fuck me, Fuck me so i feel it.
My body aches trembles and shakes.
Fuck it,
i don't care if this is a mistake.
Hate me, 
Hate me like you mean it.
Fuck me,
Fuck me so i feel it.
There is a darkness taking over me
Changing what i use to be.
Never again can i trust you.
Fuck it,
Throw me down and do what you want to.
Hate me,
Hate me like you mean it.
Fuck me,
Fuck me so i feel it.

NO MORE!!!!!!!!!

The Romantics - What I Like About You

i want to fucking leave. Fuck everytone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Tom Cruise Dance as Les Grossman in Tropic Thunder - Extended - Music: G...

Fuck everything including you

Not going to do this anymore. Tired of being dissppointed and having nothing to look forward too. I can't count on anyone but myself. i am tired of my job. i am tired of the cats crapping everywhere and i am tired of the boy dogs pissing everywhere. i am tired of fighting to sleep. Just trying to get out of bed is a chore in itself. The only reason i have to keep on breathing. And i am afraid that someone is going to take him away. If that happens i have no reason for anything anymore. Then i won't be breathing anymore. And i won't do it some sissy way either. Not a way they could have hopes of bringing me back. i have it all planned.

Happy Birthday Mom i miss you with all my heart

Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel

I quit

Dale called me a piece of shit again. Harley won't come in to eat. Most of the time he won't do his homework. He usually goes to bed late as well. i give up. On everything.

The Cardigans My Favourite Game

This really sux. Kitchen sink is broken. The floors, doors walls and windows are broken. And everything else is damaged. The World Mark thing was a bust. They so suck there. Dale didn't go for an interview for a driver for a parts company. He might be fired from his one cleaning job. 12 different places are sending us to collections. We don't have enough money to file for bankruptcy. The cleaning, cooking and the upkeep of the house is all up to me and me alone. i dunno what to do. It sux that you work hard, you help people out, your nice and loyal and all you do is get shit on.

i miss them

Not human

It it kinda good no one reads my stuff on here. They probably would think i am insane lol. i will be posting a fictional story i am currently writing about my mother. i miss her a lot. I know i have Harley and Dale, Tonya, Amanda, Brittany and Jordan. I just feel like i am alone most of the time. Every time someone in my family dies more of me dies too. i use to feel a warmth. i dunno how to explain. Just like someone was there with me. And now i just feel alone most of the time. i don't know what happened or what that is all about. i use to know what to do.. And now i feel like a shell. Like i don't really exist. i feel dumb with no answers. I feel like i am just taking up space. Most of the time i can't write or have no desire too. Same with drawing or just being a goofball. Or even watching movies or tv or reading a book. i don't know if that is my thyroid pills or what. i just woke up this way one day. Today is a half good day. i want to feel loved. i want to feel human. i just don't know what to do. Dale are Harley are outside playing with the goats. They have been doing that for a couple of hours. i have been doing basically nothing. Dale is kinda late for work. he will be going soon. Then i won't see him till 11 or later probably. i never get to do anything with him. My sisters do their own things. I havn't seen most of my friends in at least a year. Haven't done anything with them in 2. Everytime me and Har and Dale do anything.. it is usually rushed or something happens to ruin it. i am tired.... i wish i had answers. i wish i could get us out of this financial and well all over mess of our lives. Ya can't do that if your not human tho....

Sinead O'Connor - No Man's Woman

The Jims - Hallelujah

Eurotrip (Mi Scusi)

Eurotrip (Mi Scusi)

Eurotrip (Mi Scusi)

i need help...

Happy Birthday Grandma, Miss you.

Happy Birthday Grandma  Love You



Your were not just my grandma
You were my friend
You where there to lend a helping hand
Through the bad times and the good
You seemed to be the only one who understood
We always had our special ways
i miss you more than words could say
Thank you for everything you did
You touched my life
You guided me through
The world seems darker without you
i will love you for ever
I can't wait to see you again.
You were not just my grandma
you were my friend

i don't know what we are going to do. I think by next month we will be homeless. MY poor son....

Filter - Hey Man, Nice Shot (Official Video) HD

i miss my little Buddy. ilove him with all my heart

The Rise of Zombie Washington Part 1

something

I start another job on Monday. Weee.

That's life

So i applied for the dietary manager job. I didn't get it obviously. i was told i was lazy, but then told that i wasn't. i was also told i was a bad cook. the chick that is the manager now can't cook to save her life. And it is her fault the pinnacle review has been going down hill. We keep getting complaints about her cooking. Also, i was told i have to be nicer,but that i am too nice as well. i was also told i can't bring my son to work with me anymore. Everyone else can have their kids and pets there. i can't tho. Some fucking bitch misplaced her stuff and said my son stole it. I heard she found the crap later. My son hadn't been there in weeks . It happened while the current manager's kids were there. So fuck them. i have a job interview next week. it pays 17 and hour and it is full time. The job ihave now has cut my hours down to 24 and i havn't had a raise in 8 years. i get paid 10.50.